Date!

Sorry to leave that sad post up for so long and leave it hanging there...


Tomorrow we're taking the boys to my parents for a sleepover at my parents' house and heading to Lawrence to see one of our all time favorite bands, the Old 97's. We've been going to Old 97's shows for years and years. I actually introduced Elliott to this band, which is a rarity in our relationship.

I think Rhett & Co. are bringing a little taste of Texas with them. It's a whole 43 degrees today, and it's going to stay that way through Sunday. It's sunny & I can see patches of grass. I know it's 70 or something in Texas, but 40 is not 0, so...whatever.

I've got the creepy-crawlies in my nose and head, so it better go away before tomorrow. If not, I will resort to DayQuil, and I take no responsibility for my actions.

Missing

I should go visit my grandparents' gravesides.

I've never even been to my grandmother's. It's sort of like, maybe I'm a little bit in denial still, even though it's been almost 5 years. If I go, and see the marker, it will make it all real and I'll totally lose it.

She is everywhere here. And I wish like hell that she was really here.

The other day, I had the fleeting thought to pick up the phone and call her. I haven't had one of those moments in a long, long time.

Will I ever get over this?

Being home. It's wonderful. And there's there teeny weeny little part that feels completely empty without her here too.

The Clone Wars

There are times when it is really really extra hard to be gracious and grateful for what you have, like just being a parent. This job is not always easy. It's not all wine and roses, not all fun and games. Some days there is whining and shouting and "I don't want to!" from everyone. There are so many times when I wish they would just. be. quiet. for 30 seconds. Just 30 seconds!!!

Then, there are those times when I'm putting them to bed, and it's just the three of us, because Elliott gets a rare night out. I still have work I need to do, and it's already 8:30, so that means it's going to be a late night (again). But, we're laying there, and they're finally settling down, and Lennon puts his arm around me and says, "You're cute. Can I hug you?" (Are you crazy? Of course you can hug me, you insanely adorable little guy.) Noel keeps asking for lotion, so I tell him that when Lennon's asleep, I'll get him some. Finally, Lennon's asleep, and I get the lotion. Noel tells me that I'm mean for not getting him the lotion sooner. I let it roll off. I say, "Am I meaner than Oscar the Grouch?" "Yes," he replies. "You're meaner than a saber tooth tiger," I tell him. And he giggles. "You're meaner than a T. Rex."

And it goes on like this, until we can think of no more mean things, and we're quietly giggling...

"You're meaner than Luke Skywalker," I say. "Hey!" he laughs. "That's because you're not mean. You're sweet and nice and I love you."

"You're meaner than C3PO."

And we say goodnight, and say that we love each other.

I go back a few minutes later to give him an extra kiss. "Goodnight Storm Trooper."

"Goodnight Clone Trooper."

And even though I still haven't started that work, this seemed more important.

The 2011 Bandwagon

What are your hopes for 2011? Here are mine:

1. Work less. Spend more time with my family. Working from home doesn't equate to being able to spend more time with the ones you love. It also means maximizing work time so that it's all done in the most timely fashion. So, less navel-gazing while working & more working = more time with the dudes. Simple enough, right?
2. More time reading & writing. I figure the more I read, the better writer I become. I want to write less "OMG"s and "LOL"s and more things that are meaningful. Once again, simple enough...
3. Cook more meals at home.
   
4. Buy from the farmer's market as much as possible.
5. Go on walks. We live 1 block from a sweet walking trail. It's so easy...
   
6. More time with real folks, less time engaged in cyber-space. I want "My Two Sons" to flourish this year, but I need to spend less time on Facebook. Don't we all? Time suck. Now that we're closer to family & friends, this shouldn't be hard to do. I may need some accountability. I deleted my Twitter last year, but I want to keep Facebook. Perhaps check it once a day? When I post my link to my new blog post?
7. Be a great wife & mom. My patience and kindness took a major hit in 2010. I don't like it. I want to be different. I also think this is related to #6.
   

Tell me what your wishing for this year...