Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Peace



My youngest child has been quite disgruntled his entire life.  He just never seems comfortable, unless we are right by his side.  If he is awake, he wants to be around people.  There is nothing wrong with this, but it is just different from our first experience with Noel.  Noel was laid back, even as a baby.  We think it was because he was premature-he just took a few more months to sleep and keep growing, and it just made for a really calm babyhood for him.  I often wonder if Lennon would be a more relaxed child had he been born first...but he was born into a world of banging pots and pans together to make cymbals, and noisy toys and Yo Gabba Gabba.  He doesn't really have too many opportunities to just chill, like Noel did.  

This afternoon, I got home from work early.  When I noticed Lennon getting tired, I took him in our room and nursed him.  Just us.  Him & me, there in the quiet room, with nothing but the white noise of the fan.  I had the opportunity to look at him, and study him, and just be still.  He was more relaxed than I think he has ever been.  I held him.  With his head on my chest, he just laid there quietly, his eyes open, content.  At Peace.  Now, after almost 8 months, I think I finally understand this child (I'm slow to read people).  He needs a time to be calm, and still, and quiet.  He showed me something today, about myself that I just realized-I, too, need this quiet. 

A few minutes of calm during the chaos of life is important for all of us.  We are so wired these days to never take one single second away from tv, or music, or twitter, or facebook, or wii...I could go on and on...We can learn so much by listening to our children, who don't have to have all these distractions to be happy or fulfilled.  All they need is you.  All they need is you.