The Lost Art of Friendship

It used to be that in order to make a friend, you actually had to meet someone face-to-face. Those early meetings probably happened in the school yard, or you got set up with your mom's friend's kid (the way I met my oldest & bestest friend). At the very least, if you wanted to meet someone you'd actually never seen, you had to write Archie Comics and ask for a pen pal. When I was in high school, we had one computer hooked up to the outside world, where, if you used some code or something, you could find other people to talk to through the computer. I tried it a couple of times and didn't really see the appeal. In college, although I had some sort of email account, I had to go through linux or some crazy thing to actually send and receive emails. It was in a DOS program. I had a friend in college that had her very own modem, and would sit in her dorm room for days, chain-smoke, and chat with people. I thought to myself, "Why on Earth are you holed up in this cement room talking to people you don't know when you are at a campus with 20,000 students?" The whole thing seemed insane.
A few years ago, I had a desk job that required about 10 minutes of actual work during the day. I had opened a Yahoo Messenger account so I could talk to my friend, Molly, who was also bored out of her mind at work. One day, she announced that she had started a blog. What? I thought only people who fancied themselves political wrote on such things. Soon, my friend Lisa started her own blog too, and introduced me to some of her friends that were writing on their own blogs. "Wow, they'll give a blog to just about anybody!" I thought. Reading the blog of my friend and her friends, I suddenly realized that should start a blog of my own. I say funny things, so surely, I could write funny things. Soon, I had my own little "blog group", mainly comprised of Lisa's friends and their friends and relatives. All these years, I had laughed at the dorks that met people online...and now...I was meeting friends online.
I started my first blog in 2004, when Facebook was still only for college kids, and Twitter didn't exist. Your group of blog friends was limited...and the best way of finding new blogs was to hit the "Next Blog" button on Blogger. After several years of blogging, my "blog group" blew up. There were still the old standbys that I'd been with from the beginning, but now the list of blogs that I visited on a daily basis had grown by leaps and bounds. So many blogs, so many chats, so little time...and then, on the other side of this screen lies real life. I got married, I bought a house, I had a baby, I got a new job, I had another baby...We are human, and can only spread ourselves so thin.
First and foremost, I want to always "be here now". I want to be in the present for my real life, my family, my heart. I want to be there for my "real life" friends. Those that have known me for almost my entire life. My oldest friend and I have been besties since we were 3 years old. My 2nd oldest friend, I met when we were 8. These relationships were, and continue to be some of the most important in my life. These "real-lifers" have seen me at my best, and at my worst. They have seen me laugh, act like an idiot, ugly cry, act silly, treat people horribly, and pick them up when they have been down. We have actually held each other up, and been there in the best of times, and the worst. In other words, they know exactly who I am, and regardless of the chinks in my armor, they continue to love me.
When we make friends over the internet, regardless of how those people come to be our friend, they see mainly our best side. From behind this screen, we can choose to be whomever we want. We see people who are almost always putting their best foot forward. Until we actually start to dig deeper, we really hardly know each other at all. Some people choose to write about the trials and hardships on their blogs, along with the funny story of their kid barfing on the lady in front of them at the check out line. These honest, real posts are hard, because we know that with them, we risk judgement or scorn, and God-forbid, not everyone might agree with your choices, or not every single person that reads your words will like you!!! AHH! We tend to forget that in real life, we aren't friends with every single person we encounter. We don't agree with everyone, all the time...in fact, sometimes, we are real-life friends, and then we grow apart, or that friendship becomes less necessary and important. And you know what? That's ok. We don't have to be "BFF" with every single solitary person on this planet.
With the advent of Facebook & Twitter, friendship has been reduced to a mere click of your mouse. As my friend Dan put it, some of the most important relationships of our lives have become a verb: I'll "friend" you tomorrow (Dan, by the way, is an internet success story friendship of mine). We "friend" people we barely know, hardly remember from our past, or really don't know at all. An algorithm thinks that we may, in some way, know a particular person. In some cases, these friendship suggestions connect us with a childhood sweetheart, or an old friend we haven't seen since 6th grade. In other cases, it brings together people that have never met, and creates some of the most important relationships that you will ever have. There are good aspects, certainly, but it also makes it very easy to put a lot of faith into one click. I have made great friends though the internet, best friends, even...and I have made friends with people who I'd later deem "cyberpsychos". I'm eternally grateful, in many ways, for the internet, to have the opportunity to meet amazing people, and become close friends with people that I would have otherwise never met. I am also careful to not put too much of my heart & soul into these friendships, until I have really had the opportunity to get to know the real person behind the blog, the Facebook account, or the Twitter @. While I want to befriend and get to know lots of people, I only have so much time to invest in these outlets, and I want to continue to make the most of them.

The Monkey Wants YOU

Some people have asked me, “So, what exactly IS Space Monkey? What are you selling?” Well, The Space Monkey Shop offers 12″ x 12″ canvas artwork that comes ready to hang for children’s rooms. Custom sizes are also available. Just contact us for pricing on larger or smaller items. Imagine this as a 36″ x 36″ print. Cool, eh? The prints are as clear and swell looking in person as they are on our website. Our artists have worked together for over 25 years, creating animation, graphic design, and film productions, so you can rest assured that your purchase from Space Monkey will be of the utmost quality. You know that little mouse known as Chuck E. Cheese? THEY DESIGNED HIM! They also create kitschy artwork for adults too. You can find the big kid’s stuff here.

As you can see, we only have a few series up right now, but Dan & Charlie are busy creating more art for you and your children to enjoy…

We want to know what you’d like to see in The Space Monkey Shop! And that’s not all…we’re hosting a contest to get the idea wheels turning! Here’s how it works:

Become a Fan of Space Monkey on Facebook, and post your ideas for a series or a design that you would like to see available in our online shop, or follow us on Twitter & DM us your idea. We’ll pick one, make it available in the store, and GIVE YOU ONE 12 x 12 limited edition signed/numbered print on archival art paper FREE.

Yes, your idea will be rendered, you will get one of your very own, and your idea will remain in our store. Who knows, we migh even name it after you! No idea is too far-out (as long as it’s family friendly): We are SPACE MONKEYS, after all! Now, conjure up some cool ideas and tell them to us! The deadline to enter is August 20th, 2009. Go to our Facebook Fan Page or Twitter us & enter!

I'm Going to Talk About Breastfeeding. I Warned You.

This week is World Breastfeeding Week. Until a few years ago, I had no idea that such a week existed. Breastfeeding is always a hot topic, particularly amongst, well, moms...the people that do the breastfeeding. I used to not really think much of it, until it was my turn to be a mom. With Noel, I decided early on that I wasn't going to breastfeed him, but bottle feed him breast milk. When he was born 4 1/2 weeks early, I became more comfortable with this decision, as he was so sleepy and small that he never really caught on to latching. Since he never spent time in the NICU, he wasn't treated as a preemie while we were in the hospital, and we never got the hang of "real" breastfeeding. In retrospect, had we tried a little more, we probably could have done it...but that's neither here nor there. I gave him pumped milk, and that was that. I produced LOTS and LOTS of milk from the very beginning, and he had plenty to eat. That little baby that weighed only 4 lbs. 9 oz. at birth, quickly turned into Babyzilla and fattened up with all that creamy stuff. The only problem was, I could not stave off the dreaded breast infections. I got mastitis 6 times in the 7 months that I pumped.

I went to the doctor to see if there was ANYTHING I could do to avoid more infections...in a word, she told me "no". She said that women that have had mastitis more than once usually continue to get it. She thought it was hormone induced. I started my period about 6 weeks after Noel was born, and that's when the infections began. Subsequently, every time I started again, I got another infection. LUCKY ME. As I sat there crying, she quietly told me, "It's ok for you to stop." That was all the encouragement I needed. That day, I started weaning off the pump, and by the time Noel was 8 months old, he was drinking formula. I struggled mightily with this decision, but I also could not deal with one more infection. If you've ever had mastitis, you know why I couldn't take it anymore. If you haven't, consider yourself lucky. It's no fun.

When I got pregnant with Lennon, I was determined that we were going to breastfeed. Really, actually nurse. And we did...for a little over a year. The first 3ish months of breastfeeding him were torture. Yes, TORTURE. The child came out of the womb sucking on his hands. He had a mighty latch, and my sensitive skin got pretty abused the first few days of his life. It got to the point where I would cringe when he'd cry, because I knew what was coming: PAIN. I perservered, and continued to nurse him through the agony. I was determined to do this. After the wounds healed (yes, wounds, as in open sores), things got much easier, and I actually enjoyed nursing. I even got brave and did it discreetly in public and in front of people a few times! It was very liberating for me, as I'm pretty private about my body. Nursing just felt different. I never felt like I was being scandalous. I was feeding my baby...using my breasts the way God intended for them to be used. For the first time ever in my life, I was comfortable with my body.

I still pumped, but I didn't have to do it day and night. It was much easier this time around, save the first 12 weeks of his life. Right around the time he turned 13 months, I could tell that he just wasn't into it anymore...screaming and crying are pretty indicititve of "just not that into it". Truthfully, I didn't think that it would end so abruptly, but it did, and that was that.

If you are breastfeeding, or want to breastfeed, and you are struggling, reach out for support. I am so thankful for my husband who was 100% behind my decision. Call friends, find breastfeeding moms on Twitter & through blogs. Locally, look for a La Leche Leauge in your area, or area hospitals that have lacation consultants, and there are resources like KellyMom.com and La Leche Leauge on the web.

You want to know the truth? I am really proud of myself for giving both of my kids breastmilk. Breastfeeding is not easy for everyone. I was one of those people that struggled. I am stubborn, and it's the only reason that I continued to do it. I has set out with a goal, and I'd be damned if I wasn't going to accomplish it. Both of my children have been so healthy, and I attribute it first and foremost to them drinking exactly what they needed: the milk that only I could give them.

Five Years, Stuck on My Eyes

First of all, name that tune. Naomi, I pretty much expect you to be the only one to get this...

Five years ago today, Elliott and I boarded a plane to Kauai, Hawaii. We were leaving to get married in paradise, just the two of us. It was the best trip and one of the happiest times of my life. If you get the chance to go to Kauai, take it and run. It is unreal.

Monday, we will have been married for 5 years. In this time, we bought a home and had two babies. WOW. These have been the biggest and best changes for us both. We both grappled with whether or not we wanted children. Today, even with a 3 1/2 yr. old with a mind of his own, and a 1 1/2 year old who "has a lot of energy", we'd both give this life we've built two big thumbs up. If I had more thumbs, they'd be up too.

I know that we will celebrate many more milestones together: birthdays, anniversaries, life, death, and whatever else the world decides to throw our way. We're definitely committed to spending this crazy life right beside one another.

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

I Want My Mommy

My parents don't live here...and we don't live there.

Sometimes, I enjoy the distance, because I feel like I can sort of have my own, grown-up life. I am a big, adult girl, afterall...

But most of the time, I hate it.

All things considered, I had a really great upbringing. I love my parents to death. They are still married, & they have a mutual love & respect for each other. They are happy people, they are great parents, and good people. Everyone LOVES them, and although I thought it was super annoying when I was younger, I now think it's really cool. I like them too. They are smart, interesting, and fun. The thing I like best about them is that they are wonderful grandparents, and it saddens me that my kids don't get to spend more time with them live and in person. Thankfully, they love to come & visit, and my children think that they are the bee's knees (probably because they are). I hope that someday we will be closer to them in real life...oh, how I hope.

I miss them. Just one week ago, we were all sitting right here where I'm typing. I wish they were still here.

My kids and I spend a lot of time hanging out in this sculpture, so we thought we'd show it to The Neen & Grandpa.
I took the parents to my new favorite place in all of Fort Worth, The Modern. This is the Vortex. My favorite sculpture ever. The acoustics are. totally. amazing.

Awwwww....They love them so much.


A gratuitous shot of the gorgeous reflection pool at The Modern. My little boy is getting so big.

I WAS NOT AT BLOGHER! and I got Way More Than a Lousy T-Shirt

I think I am the only person alive that wasn't at BlogHer...at least from what I saw on Twitter. My parents were visiting, and we celebrated my 33rd birthday. My parents graciously stayed with the boys while we went out with friends. We stayed out until MIDNIGHT *gasp*! From what I've read, I think I had a way, way, way, WAY better time spending 3 days off with my whole family, and not in Chicago. Although I would have LOVED to go to Chicago to visit many wonderful friends, I feel like I didn't miss much as far as the conference. I've never been to a BlogHer, and I doubt I will ever go, truthfully. I just don't feel like it's my cup of tea. I'd much rather just plan a family trip to visit real life friends and blogging friends. I swear, I'm really fun...but I'm not the kind of person that's going to plan my outfits on my blog. I'll be the person in the Old Navy clothes (cute "little black dress" there for $15, and get the second 1/2 off, by the way...), with my hair up. I may or may not have on any makeup -*even lipstick*. My legs probably won't be shaved, but my pits will. I will encourage everyone to get dessert & use butter. I will act silly & make jokes that might or might not be 100% appropriate. If it's inappropriate, that means I am comfortable with you and we'll probably be friends for life. Don't take me too seriously, because I don't take myself seriously. My motto is "Just be cool, man. Be cool." We're all just trying to get one foot in front of the other, and try to succeed at life. There's a real life going on behind this computer screen, ya know? Let's try to remember that...Be nice. Be cool. It does not matter to me if you're sponsored a brand, or if you've received a major award for being a blogger. I like YOU for YOU.

Does that make sense?

Enough of the serious stuff. Here's what good times we had at my Trader Vic's Birthday Party!

An interesting tidbit about Trader Vic's: When the restaurant closed it's doors in Dallas, they kept EVERYTHING as it was, and when they reopened, they left it just the same. It's FREAKING AWESOME. We sat in the Elvis booth, where he sat when he visited. RAD.

Elliott and one of our Space Monkey comrades, Charlie.
Normally, Sarah is watching the boys while Elliott and I go out. After 3 1/2 years, we finally get to have a childless night out with Sarah again!
A drink with rock candy. Loco.
Good times!

Tomorrow, I'll post a few of the whole fam and our weekend.

The Two.

Would you like 2 boys with a side of total, utter adorableness? I love them so much. I wish they'd let me squeeze them and hold them all day long. That is, if they'd, like, ever sit still long enough for anything like that. They are busy boys, that love to jump, and slide (Lennon says "EEEEE!" as he goes down), and make messes, and play hide and seek, and run, and spin in circles, and act crazy, and get dirty, and play in sand and dirt and mud, and play cars, and play drums, and draw, and eat crayons (ahem, one of them...), and play with and sneak bites of home made play-dough and, and, and...I'm starting to sound like Noel...

I love them so much. They make me want to scream and pull my hair out at times...but then I see their innocence, captured in a moment, where they are so sweet and small and perfect...and it can't help but make my heart burst.