Time in a Bottle

The only light in my kids’ room. Their little nightlight. I tried to get a picture of the fireflies we caught that are sitting on their windowsill, but it wasn’t working out.

Noel stayed up a little late and he and I watched the fireflies we caught in a jar next to his bed as he went to sleep. He gasped each time one lit up. At one point he said, “They’re happy.”

where does the time go?

i've probably written this 8 billion times by now, but really...WHERE? these boys are just growing up so darn fast.
yesterday, we had noel's first t-ball practice with kids from his kindergarten.
as you might imagine, it was AWESOME and hilarious and adorable.
the kids and parents were great and i have a good feeling about the school and his class and the families that we will get to know this year. it all feels very right.

a few weeks ago, our neighborhood had an art festival. i got their faces painted. the next day, they wanted them done again, so i did it myself. here's how it turned out. one of the face-painters at the fair stopped me and asked if there was another face painting booth somewhere. if so, it was a renegade. they were supposed to be the only ones there. when i told her i did it myself, she said i was talented. maybe i have a future...

even though they can really go at it, these guys are pretty good buddies, and i love that. it will be weird when they lead more separate lives next year...i hope it doesn't change their relationship too much.

if there ever was a class clown...

i'm ready for summer and to have a bit more time to devote to my boys. i have a feeling that a lot of things will change next year. i feel their little-child-ness dwindling away...

Yesterday's Happiness

sunshine.
running.
laughing.
searching for saber tooth tigers.
best friends.
big hills (even if they're called "suicide hill").

I Like To Steal Ideas, but Only Ones That Are Brilliant

My friend Amy is posting something she's calling "Today's Happiness". I'm going to join her, because it's just a darn good idea. And you know, I might call my version "Yesterday's Happiness", because these were actually taken yesterday. In fact, I think one was taken two days ago...so I may not even be stealing anyone's ideas at all...

Anyway...

Yesterday, Noel read a book to me. One that he'd never seen before. He picked it up, and read it to me. I helped him with maybe 4 words. Happiness? Big time.

And he's just so silly. He makes me smile and laugh a million times a day.

What are you happy about today?

The Clone Wars

There are times when it is really really extra hard to be gracious and grateful for what you have, like just being a parent. This job is not always easy. It's not all wine and roses, not all fun and games. Some days there is whining and shouting and "I don't want to!" from everyone. There are so many times when I wish they would just. be. quiet. for 30 seconds. Just 30 seconds!!!

Then, there are those times when I'm putting them to bed, and it's just the three of us, because Elliott gets a rare night out. I still have work I need to do, and it's already 8:30, so that means it's going to be a late night (again). But, we're laying there, and they're finally settling down, and Lennon puts his arm around me and says, "You're cute. Can I hug you?" (Are you crazy? Of course you can hug me, you insanely adorable little guy.) Noel keeps asking for lotion, so I tell him that when Lennon's asleep, I'll get him some. Finally, Lennon's asleep, and I get the lotion. Noel tells me that I'm mean for not getting him the lotion sooner. I let it roll off. I say, "Am I meaner than Oscar the Grouch?" "Yes," he replies. "You're meaner than a saber tooth tiger," I tell him. And he giggles. "You're meaner than a T. Rex."

And it goes on like this, until we can think of no more mean things, and we're quietly giggling...

"You're meaner than Luke Skywalker," I say. "Hey!" he laughs. "That's because you're not mean. You're sweet and nice and I love you."

"You're meaner than C3PO."

And we say goodnight, and say that we love each other.

I go back a few minutes later to give him an extra kiss. "Goodnight Storm Trooper."

"Goodnight Clone Trooper."

And even though I still haven't started that work, this seemed more important.

The 2011 Bandwagon

What are your hopes for 2011? Here are mine:

1. Work less. Spend more time with my family. Working from home doesn't equate to being able to spend more time with the ones you love. It also means maximizing work time so that it's all done in the most timely fashion. So, less navel-gazing while working & more working = more time with the dudes. Simple enough, right?
2. More time reading & writing. I figure the more I read, the better writer I become. I want to write less "OMG"s and "LOL"s and more things that are meaningful. Once again, simple enough...
3. Cook more meals at home.
   
4. Buy from the farmer's market as much as possible.
5. Go on walks. We live 1 block from a sweet walking trail. It's so easy...
   
6. More time with real folks, less time engaged in cyber-space. I want "My Two Sons" to flourish this year, but I need to spend less time on Facebook. Don't we all? Time suck. Now that we're closer to family & friends, this shouldn't be hard to do. I may need some accountability. I deleted my Twitter last year, but I want to keep Facebook. Perhaps check it once a day? When I post my link to my new blog post?
7. Be a great wife & mom. My patience and kindness took a major hit in 2010. I don't like it. I want to be different. I also think this is related to #6.
   

Tell me what your wishing for this year...

Christmas Hangover

I love Christmas. Who doesn't??

As an adult without kids, I liked Christmas, but now? It's just so much better. Hearing the squeals as they open gifts. Hearing "WOW!" over something Santa knew they wanted, or "Thanks for getting that for me," or hearing little Lennon say, "Where's Santa? I wanted to give him a hug and say 'Thanks'," is something i can't put into words. These kids...

They are something else...I tell ya.

We had such a great day. I want to make every day more like Christmas. Of course, without all the hoop-la and gifts, but with the good feelings and glad tidings. Who couldn't use more joy in the every day?

Last Christmas...

A year ago (well, almost), it snowed on Christmas eve, at our old house
in Texas.
It never snows in Texas.
People will talk about it for eons.
It probably snowed an entire foot-which was the biggest snowfall on record.
It was incredible...and beautiful.
And it was the perfect last Christmas for us to have there.

Even if they don't remember it, I know we'll never forget it.
And I'm so thankful for the memories we will make this year...
and for years to come.

A conversation between my two sons

Lennon: "Jingle bells! Jingle bells! Jingle all the way!"

Noel: "No, Lennon, sing this one: 'Jingle bells! Batman smells! Robin laid an egg! Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker ran away! Hey!'"

Lennon: "Jingle bells! Batman smells! Batmobile! Batmobile! Joker ran away! Hey!"

Noel: "No...Lennon...that's not right...it's not Batmobile! Batmobile!"

minutes later....

Noel: " Batmobile! Batmobile! Batmobile! Batmobile! Batmobile! Batmobile! Batmobile! Batmobile! AND THE JOKER RAN AWAY! HEY!"

Whirlwind

We're in a new city...well, it's not new to me, but to the rest of my people, it's new. It's colder here, but we're enjoying the prospect of seasons, something we didn't really have in Texas much. We're also enjoying our new house with a pretty front door.

We loved dressing up for Halloween and going trick or treating in our really cool new neighborhood with it's cute shops that gave out candy. Everything is so accessible and we enjoy walking to the coffee shop and childrens' bookshop and the restaurants. There's also a school right across the street with a play ground and a big area to ride bikes and trikes. Grandparents are a mile away. If we take the car to their house, we can't even finish a whole song by the time we're there.

We have a front porch. And the trees turn all sorts of beautiful colors, and the leaves fall in droves, and we throw them. We have friends that are my old friends with kids who have kids and now they're friends with my kids. These metamorphases are pretty amazing and wonderful.

We spent Thanksgiving with some of our favorite family and it was divine. The boys had their first sleepover with their Neena and Grandpa. They didn't miss us a bit.

We've put up our tree, the stockings our hung. Markle is quietly keeping tabs and making sure two little lads mind their p's and q's. We look outside for snow, and we wait to see the quiet blanket so we can rush out and enjoy it...I think we are home.

The Tour of Brotherly Love

The past couple of times Noel & Lennon have trotted out the instruments, I've taken out the camera and started snapping photos. All of them but this one are candid. They had both been placing the pick on their eyes, and I thought it would make a good picture. Noel would not oblige once I asked them to take one together. Still, a good future album cover shot.

I am going to make a habit of taking these pictures while they play. They aren't really playing anything at this point, but it is fascinating to see them study the guitar and bass and see the different sounds they can create as they turn knobs, flip switches, use the picks to discover sounds on the strings: up, down, sideways...they don't just make noise. They are discovering. I am seeing young musicians as they teach themselves their craft.

Don't be afraid to let your kids play around with your things...teach them respect for them, but let them learn from them. You will be amazed.

I also love this picture because they are doing the exact same thing, the exact opposite way, which pretty much sums up them to a T.

Another insert in a future album cover, right? They look like they are so deep in conversation, discussing the recording of their latest song. Mark my words...

Just because it's hilarious.

I'm pretty sure you could write a book just based on the characters in this picture.

They're a Big Deal

I can't believe I'm a mom.

These big boys...they're my children. My children. Do you know how weird that is for me to say, still? I am a mom. with. children. It's still a lot to wrap my head around.

Know why?

Because these two...they're a big deal. I'm responsible for them.

I'm an adult, who has been given two human beings...to take care of until they can take care of themselves.

That's huge.

The Rockstar Toddler and The Modster Boy

Two Years Old. February 19, 2010

He looks up to him in every way.

Spending a sunny day at the zoo.

The Milestones that Matter

I've been stewing over what I'm going to post for my 10,oooth tweet. As I was showering tonight (don't you always have the best "a-ha!" moments there?), I realized that I was overdramatizing this "milestone" just a bit.

I've spent the better part of 10 years with this man. In 10 years with him, I have come 10,000 miles. Before we met, I was lost. I did not know who I was, or who I wanted to be. He has been my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, my soulmate...the father of my two most precious accomplishments.

For almost two years, I have been his mom.

Four 1/2 years ago, the realization of him made us a family.

For almost 2 years, I have witnessed this brotherhood and friendship blossom and grow. It's buds are still small, but they will one day be a beautiful, even if imperfect, flower.

As much as I love Twitter & the online community, there's nothing that compares to the milestones I've accomplished in this tangible, beautiful life.

I Want to Manage More Than a Couple Posts a Month, Really.

Oh, it has been quite a few weeks. All I can say is "Whew," take a deep breath, and go to bed. It's been tiring. Soooo, so tiring. The tired has been worth it though...lots of good things have happened and it makes me really look forward to our future. It has been a long road. These past couple of years have been full of challenges, but I think we're at a point where we can relax and look forward to what's ahead. I can't wait. I'm not sure how quickly any changes will occur, but I'm pleased to think about it. I see Jack Stack in our future...and Groucho Marx.

These glasses have been passed down a generation. My family played with them often when I was a kid. See? Nostalgia is in my blood.

Here are a few pictures from the past couple of weeks. My whole family has finally recovered from a coughy, hacky, runny-nosey something that "wasn't the flu", when Noel was tested for it. We've all still got residual coughs, but the fever and listlessness is finally gone. I'm grateful, because although it means they are much more active, both boys can go to their 2 mornings of parents day out, and we can actually get some things done around the house.

The wee sick children.

The Terror also Known as Lennon.
You figure this one out.

Yesterday, I passed an accreditation exam for my job. This will allow me to be able to work from home very, very soon. This has been something I've wanted since going in to this profession...and it is going to happen. I still can't believe it. :D

This pumpkin did not even place at my work contest. Clearly, the judges were lame.

I'm well aware that this post is totally random. My brain hurts. Please forgive.

Oh, Mama.

When you're sick, there's nothing better than having your mom around. My kids feel the same way. Do women instinctively understand how to care for a sick child in ways that men don't? Not that my husband isn't an awesome caretaker, but he's more hesitant to go get in bed with the sick kids, probably for fear of catching whatever illness they have or getting puked on...who knows? Everyone just seems to defer to me when they are ill. Perhaps it's my characteristically Cancer nurturing that they all, my husband included, sense.

I've noticed during this October illness month, my kids only want me when they don't feel good. I'm the one who has to force the medicine, take the temperatures, hold their heads over the toilet, and make them shower to clean up said "toilet incident". You'd think they'd run for the hills when they see me coming. Instead, Noel, my 3 1/2 year old, independent little boy wanted me to carry him around Target today, willingly held my hand, and says, "Stay," when he senses, from a dead sleep, that I'm about to get out of bed. When Lennon is sick, he will sit still for hours with me just holding him. I can't pass him off, or he's inconsolable.

I sort of like taking care of everyone when they're sick, to tell you the truth. The boys aren't always willing to sit still and be held, have their backs rubbed, have their heads kissed incessantly. When they are sick, I seem to understand how small and vulnerable they are...and I'm going to hold on to that memory, even when they're back to their old selves, running away from me, squirming out of a hug, and just being kids. They do need me, even if they don't always show it.

20 months later...

My baby turned 20 months old today. He is a toddler. He knows what he wants. He's got attitude. He's got sass. He is also snuggly and sweet and funny. He loves to pick his nose.

Something hit me today, and it's taken me a long, long time to realize it. I had a lot of expectations that were never met when I had Lennon. I think my biggest was thinking that Noel would have an insta-friend & insta-playmate. No dice. I thought, if it didn't happen immediately, it would happen in time. It has happened, to an extent, but my children are at ages where they both need more parental attention and guidance. Three 1/2 and 1 1/2 are tricky ages. One is becoming a child, and less needy, but is also testing boundaries & becoming independent...which means he doesn't always want a playmate. He especially doesn't want a playmate that is taking what he wants, or has what he thinks he wants right then. Lennon is growing out of babyhood and into toddler-hood. He wants what he wants, when he wants it. Although he might look like a Precious Moments doll, he is 100% ornery, and knows exactly how to push Noel's buttons.

When they play together, it usually breaks down into "That's MINE!" pretty quickly, unless they're playing together with one of us. This is where I admit my epic failure. I have pushed this brotherhood and friendship, basically so I could rest on my laurels and hang out in the background and watch my children get along like Dick & Jane, sitting quietly next to each other, playing and laughing. It doesn't work that way, at least not at this time.

Today, I played with both of them. I left the iPhone and the computer aside, and hung out with them, together. Guess what? They got along beautifully, and I saw myself for the first time in way too long, not frowning or feeling full of anxiety. I could beat myself up about this, because, well, I've let this go on...It's affected me, my husband, and most importantly, it's affected my children...but I'm going to swallow this realization like a spoon full of sugar, and move upward from here. I saw today that my two precious boys are not going to constantly fight and bicker. They didn't today...and it was because I helped them along throughout the day. I guided them. I parented them. I acted like the mom I knew I was capable of being.

And it looks like I learned something too.

I WAS NOT AT BLOGHER! and I got Way More Than a Lousy T-Shirt

I think I am the only person alive that wasn't at BlogHer...at least from what I saw on Twitter. My parents were visiting, and we celebrated my 33rd birthday. My parents graciously stayed with the boys while we went out with friends. We stayed out until MIDNIGHT *gasp*! From what I've read, I think I had a way, way, way, WAY better time spending 3 days off with my whole family, and not in Chicago. Although I would have LOVED to go to Chicago to visit many wonderful friends, I feel like I didn't miss much as far as the conference. I've never been to a BlogHer, and I doubt I will ever go, truthfully. I just don't feel like it's my cup of tea. I'd much rather just plan a family trip to visit real life friends and blogging friends. I swear, I'm really fun...but I'm not the kind of person that's going to plan my outfits on my blog. I'll be the person in the Old Navy clothes (cute "little black dress" there for $15, and get the second 1/2 off, by the way...), with my hair up. I may or may not have on any makeup -*even lipstick*. My legs probably won't be shaved, but my pits will. I will encourage everyone to get dessert & use butter. I will act silly & make jokes that might or might not be 100% appropriate. If it's inappropriate, that means I am comfortable with you and we'll probably be friends for life. Don't take me too seriously, because I don't take myself seriously. My motto is "Just be cool, man. Be cool." We're all just trying to get one foot in front of the other, and try to succeed at life. There's a real life going on behind this computer screen, ya know? Let's try to remember that...Be nice. Be cool. It does not matter to me if you're sponsored a brand, or if you've received a major award for being a blogger. I like YOU for YOU.

Does that make sense?

Enough of the serious stuff. Here's what good times we had at my Trader Vic's Birthday Party!

An interesting tidbit about Trader Vic's: When the restaurant closed it's doors in Dallas, they kept EVERYTHING as it was, and when they reopened, they left it just the same. It's FREAKING AWESOME. We sat in the Elvis booth, where he sat when he visited. RAD.

Elliott and one of our Space Monkey comrades, Charlie.
Normally, Sarah is watching the boys while Elliott and I go out. After 3 1/2 years, we finally get to have a childless night out with Sarah again!
A drink with rock candy. Loco.
Good times!

Tomorrow, I'll post a few of the whole fam and our weekend.

33 (& 1/3...but not really)

Ten years ago, my husband gave me this card. It was the first card he ever gave me. It was for my 23rd birthday. I remember each word written in it, because I probably read it somewhere around 56,903,142 times.

I'm every bit as smitten with him now as I was then. He still makes me giggle like a school girl. I can't believe that we started this journey a decade ago. What an amazing, beautiful ride it's been.