I Want My Mommy

My parents don't live here...and we don't live there.

Sometimes, I enjoy the distance, because I feel like I can sort of have my own, grown-up life. I am a big, adult girl, afterall...

But most of the time, I hate it.

All things considered, I had a really great upbringing. I love my parents to death. They are still married, & they have a mutual love & respect for each other. They are happy people, they are great parents, and good people. Everyone LOVES them, and although I thought it was super annoying when I was younger, I now think it's really cool. I like them too. They are smart, interesting, and fun. The thing I like best about them is that they are wonderful grandparents, and it saddens me that my kids don't get to spend more time with them live and in person. Thankfully, they love to come & visit, and my children think that they are the bee's knees (probably because they are). I hope that someday we will be closer to them in real life...oh, how I hope.

I miss them. Just one week ago, we were all sitting right here where I'm typing. I wish they were still here.

My kids and I spend a lot of time hanging out in this sculpture, so we thought we'd show it to The Neen & Grandpa.
I took the parents to my new favorite place in all of Fort Worth, The Modern. This is the Vortex. My favorite sculpture ever. The acoustics are. totally. amazing.

Awwwww....They love them so much.


A gratuitous shot of the gorgeous reflection pool at The Modern. My little boy is getting so big.

I WAS NOT AT BLOGHER! and I got Way More Than a Lousy T-Shirt

I think I am the only person alive that wasn't at BlogHer...at least from what I saw on Twitter. My parents were visiting, and we celebrated my 33rd birthday. My parents graciously stayed with the boys while we went out with friends. We stayed out until MIDNIGHT *gasp*! From what I've read, I think I had a way, way, way, WAY better time spending 3 days off with my whole family, and not in Chicago. Although I would have LOVED to go to Chicago to visit many wonderful friends, I feel like I didn't miss much as far as the conference. I've never been to a BlogHer, and I doubt I will ever go, truthfully. I just don't feel like it's my cup of tea. I'd much rather just plan a family trip to visit real life friends and blogging friends. I swear, I'm really fun...but I'm not the kind of person that's going to plan my outfits on my blog. I'll be the person in the Old Navy clothes (cute "little black dress" there for $15, and get the second 1/2 off, by the way...), with my hair up. I may or may not have on any makeup -*even lipstick*. My legs probably won't be shaved, but my pits will. I will encourage everyone to get dessert & use butter. I will act silly & make jokes that might or might not be 100% appropriate. If it's inappropriate, that means I am comfortable with you and we'll probably be friends for life. Don't take me too seriously, because I don't take myself seriously. My motto is "Just be cool, man. Be cool." We're all just trying to get one foot in front of the other, and try to succeed at life. There's a real life going on behind this computer screen, ya know? Let's try to remember that...Be nice. Be cool. It does not matter to me if you're sponsored a brand, or if you've received a major award for being a blogger. I like YOU for YOU.

Does that make sense?

Enough of the serious stuff. Here's what good times we had at my Trader Vic's Birthday Party!

An interesting tidbit about Trader Vic's: When the restaurant closed it's doors in Dallas, they kept EVERYTHING as it was, and when they reopened, they left it just the same. It's FREAKING AWESOME. We sat in the Elvis booth, where he sat when he visited. RAD.

Elliott and one of our Space Monkey comrades, Charlie.
Normally, Sarah is watching the boys while Elliott and I go out. After 3 1/2 years, we finally get to have a childless night out with Sarah again!
A drink with rock candy. Loco.
Good times!

Tomorrow, I'll post a few of the whole fam and our weekend.

The Two.

Would you like 2 boys with a side of total, utter adorableness? I love them so much. I wish they'd let me squeeze them and hold them all day long. That is, if they'd, like, ever sit still long enough for anything like that. They are busy boys, that love to jump, and slide (Lennon says "EEEEE!" as he goes down), and make messes, and play hide and seek, and run, and spin in circles, and act crazy, and get dirty, and play in sand and dirt and mud, and play cars, and play drums, and draw, and eat crayons (ahem, one of them...), and play with and sneak bites of home made play-dough and, and, and...I'm starting to sound like Noel...

I love them so much. They make me want to scream and pull my hair out at times...but then I see their innocence, captured in a moment, where they are so sweet and small and perfect...and it can't help but make my heart burst.

33 (& 1/3...but not really)

Ten years ago, my husband gave me this card. It was the first card he ever gave me. It was for my 23rd birthday. I remember each word written in it, because I probably read it somewhere around 56,903,142 times.

I'm every bit as smitten with him now as I was then. He still makes me giggle like a school girl. I can't believe that we started this journey a decade ago. What an amazing, beautiful ride it's been.

Peep, Peep, Peep...Talk a Lot...

Noel loves to ask questions...like, ALLTHEFREAKINGTIME. I love the inquisitiveness, and his curiosity, but it can get tiring. Here's an example of a conversation we had a few minutes ago:

Noel: Can you get the leaves out of the sandbox?

Me: Sure.

Noel: Why are there leaves in the sandbox?

Me: Because they blew in there from the tree {right above the sandbox}.

Noel: Why did they blow in there?

Me: Because it was rainy and windy the other night.

Noel: Why did it rain?

Me: It just did.

Noel: Why?

Me: I don't know.

Most of our Q & A's end with me saying "I don't know," or "That's just the way it is." Anyone have any ideas of how to actually answer these questions? It's almost like at that point, I'm just saying it out of defeat, hoping the interrogation will end.

Oh, the Heat.

Yesterday, on a 104 degree day, our air conditioner decided it wanted to die.

I can't really blame the air conditioner. It has been a trusty sidekick since we've lived in the house, but it gets cranky in summer, just like me. It doesn't get a break. I can relate to the air conditioner. My husband can too, more-so than I. This summer has been SO HOT and by the end of the day, we are all drained and cranky and tired.

This Friday, we'll be going out without the kids, which is a rarity. We don't trust just anyone with our children. In fact, they've had one babysitter, ever, and she's one of our best friends. I cook her dinner in exchange for her sitting in our house while my kids sleep. Yeah, we don't leave until after they're in bed either. I am sure we'll eventually lighten up about this, but right now that's how we roll, and that's ok.

On Monday, Noel will begin his four week Summer session at Parent's Day Out. If all goes well, Lennon will join him in the Fall (there were no spots for his age in the Summer session). It's 2 days a week, for 5 hours a day.

And we're nervous wrecks about it.

Some might call it being over-protective. I ask those people if there is really such a thing, when you're taking care of two beings that you love more than life itself.

Still, there are times when we, like the mother ****ing, *** ****ed air conditioner, need a break. And that's ok.

So Just Tonight...

I opened an online store.

I talked all about it here.

OH MY GOD!

For My Friend

I have never met Amy, although she is one of my dearest and closest friends.

Amy was one of my first “blog friends” (I think Charlie was the first). I used to be of the mindset that you couldn’t make good friends over the computer, but I was wrong. I met her at the insistence of her husband, who has a music blog. I commented about what our unborn baby (Noel) had been listening to in-utero, after he’d written a post about their new baby’s favorite songs. He emailed me with her information, and I’m pretty sure by that afternoon, we were on Yahoo IM, chatting about music and babies. We were “insta-friends”. She sent me lists of the baby gear I would need. We would exchange links all day, swooning over companies like Black Wagon, Vincent Shoes, Boon and Zutano. We’d dream about the endless amounts of wonderful things we’d buy for our babies, if only we had a money tree. We talked about music and email each other songs. We talked about our lives, our husbands, our babies, born & unborn.

Amy encouraged me to go to the doctor when my hands and feet started itching uncontrollably toward the end of my pregnancy (and it turned out I had HELLP syndrome). She was there for me when my baby was born 4 ½ weeks premature. She & Eric had been in my shoes with Hailey, who was also premature. Hailey had looked like a turtle when she was born, and Noel looked like a frog. We decided that they would one day get married. Our bond was strong, particularly after having similar pregnancies and births. Once Noel was born, we grew even closer. Our first children were only 4 months apart. We’d become friends when Hailey was just a few weeks old, and I was still pregnant. She was my first “mom friend”. I remember Hailey’s first word (Oliver) and when she learned to walk. I am sure that Amy remembers all of Noel’s milestones too.

When I got pregnant with Lennon, Amy and Eric were trying for another baby too. They waited, and waited…and waited. And yesterday, Teagan was born. Having known for years how much her family has longed for her, I am absolutely filled with joy about her birth.

Almost 4 years later, I can’t believe everything that has changed in our lives. The turtle and frog are now 3 ½, and two of the cutest and funniest little kids you’d ever want to meet (they’ve had a few web-cam dates already). It’s unreal that the first few months of our friendship, we would chat one handed while holding our only babies. We’ve shared joys and heartaches - new pregnancies, miscarriages, death, life, and exciting ventures. We’ve had a lot of laughs, and good times. Still, we’ve never physically met. I can’t wait until we do. I can imagine there will be lots of hugs, and tears, and kids screaming and playing and having fun, and lots of music and mayhem.

Welcome, Teagan!

My friend Amy just had a baby. She twittered it.

Tomorrow, I'm going to tell you about how Amy, although I've never met her, was my first mom friend. She is a great lady, and a cool mama, and I'm so happy for her, Eric, and Hailey.

Welcome to the world, Teagan!

The Missing Piece

Of all the relatives that have died over my lifetime, I miss my Grandma Logan (Neena) the most. I think it is because of her really strong, yet loving personality. She was the matriarch. Her husband, my beloved Grandpa Logan (known also as BoBa), was the quiet strong type, and he was amazing too...but she held the reigns. I feel like it was her that really gave our family it's sense of how important family is to us.

Her and my Grandpa set a great example, and extending open arms to their three favorite little ladies. My favorite memories of childhood almost always include my grandparents. There was something special about them. Something I hope Noel and Lennon see in their grandparents.

It makes me sad that we aren't with them more, which is why I am so thankful for this amazing internet. Really. What a great way to stay connected to the people I love and miss. I loved spending every holiday with them. I loved how we all just knew that either of the Logan's or Beaty's would have everyone over for every important time. It was something really special, and something I want to continue. I am so thankful for the Neen and how much more she made you all to me.

Thursday Is the New Friday

We are going to have a little fun in the sun over this three day weekend.

Jumping in the "PEWWWWL".

He was saying his usual, "CHEEEEEEE!"

I Love You, But Don't Forget to Read the Fine Print

You know, I've thought very little about how I would react if my children "came out" to me. In fact, it's completely a non-issue, as it should be. I look at my two small boys, and I see life. I see beauty. I see wisdom that we can't hold on to as adults. I see innocence.

I look at my children, who don't know or understand what it is to be heterosexual, or homosexual. When they look at a person, whether or not that person is gay, straight, black, white, so on and so forth...they see a person. I see my own children as little people, who will one day be grown up people, who have learned most of what they know from me & my family. I don't want my children marred by prejudices given to them by me or anyone else.

Several years ago, I had a part time job at a bookstore. I was working with a guy that was in his first year of college, and working part time to help pay for his car & such. He came out while we were working together, and his parents found out. Before he could tell them, someone else did. His parents sent him to their pastor, and monitored his phone calls, and who he was seeing at all times. He eventually got "caught" hanging out with a guy, and was kicked out of his home. His parents stopped helping him with college, and gave him no more money. They told him that as long as he was gay, he was not their son. I was appalled and disgusted by this young man's treatment by his own family. Now that I have two sons that I adore and love more than anything in this world, I am even more appalled and disgusted by his family's actions.

I will always, unconditionally love my children. Period.